Addicted to Adderall
like so many girls in los angeles, i've recently become addicted to the ADD medication adderall... i took it on a whim a few years ago once in a while after hearing it helped with weight loss, and within the last month, i've been taking it several time per week. it keeps me up all night and kills my appetite, but there's a horrid crash - i get depressed, moody, hungry, angry, and often times, slightly paranoid.

i don't know what to do - i always tell myself i'll stop, but then i'll have a cupcake or something (red velvet cupcakes have become my most recent love affair) and succumb to the drug again. i either snort it or let it dissolve in my mouth.

i'm 5'5" and weigh 93 lbs, yet i still feel overweight! i've been a fashion model since middle school and am currently working on an album and i feel this OVERWHELMING PRESSURE to look perfect. guys tell me i'm pretty, but i hate my legs and want a nose job. i know i have a problem. i've tried talking to girls on those pro anorexia websites, but i don't want to be inspired to LOSE weight... i want help! and my psychiatrist does nothing but tells me to stop, as if it's that easy. even my father knows about this and won't send me to outpatient rehab, as it hasn't worked for other things in the past.

i suppose i'm venting here because i trust you guys - you feel like friends, and i don't imagine snorting adderall where you all live is the "norm" like it is here.

does anyone have experience with drug addiction? or just something encouraging to say, words of advice? :?

thanks loves. xx

okay so i was thinking about this the other day actually.

i have many friends that take adderall, prescribed or not (mostly not). about a year ago i convinced a friend of mine to stop....the detox was cruel, lasting over 2 weeks...

i honestly think this is the age where most of our generation takes something, lord knows i have before in the past. i dont have a problem with it unless recreational use turns into obsession..and brianne, it sounds like its borderline there hun.

living where you do doesnt help the image thing, im sure. when i saw your pic, you reminded me of a few of my friends actually lol.

anyway back on topic. just remember, the pill doesnt control you. its a pill. if it starts to control you, then you need to do something about it. id have to say adderall is the most common recrational med used that ive experienced with. luckily, it doesnt have addctive behaviors, per se.

id just tell you to be careful hun. it doesnt replace eating healthy. it doesnt replace staying active. but if you find yourself dragging one day, go ahead and take one. some people would say NO THATS BAD!! but then ill go back to....get with the year and the day....you sheltered person you. everyone has thier vice.

Hey…for the little that i can do i want to help.I read two times your post.The yours is an internal battle between a side of yourself that wants to achieve perfection using everything to accomplish this desire and the other side that tells you to stop and live freely your live without this obsession.Infact, you are obsessed by your obsession (sorry for the repetition).We are condamned in this word because we are forced to see everyday targets that it’s impossible to achieve.Every single person isn’t perfect and THIS makes us different.We aren’t dolls, we are humans!And you are beautiful!Living in a city like L.A. can be hard but being different from the other dolls that happens to meet downtown makes us more different!You don’t need to listen to people that tell you that the drugs are bad or things like that because you already know it!And if you want to resolve the drug problem you need to resolve before the battle you have inside.You just need to think everyday if this is really worthy!You’re young and you have a whole life to live and you deserve to be happy and to live with freedom.I don’t mean that you have to eat and put on like 3000 kg of weight!You just need to think that you are perfect as you are ‘cause life is only one and we just don’t have to ruin it Think of it every single day and when the impulse to take this pills for the weight starts to knock at your door!I’m sure that you know which is the right way to go.You need to do or think at something else when you want to take the pills.I know it’s hard and that words can’t be strong enaugh but they can help you go into the right way.i truly wish you all the best!P.s. if you need something i’m here:)

Xo
Kya

I now EXACTLY how you feel! i'm actually overweight myself, and I feel like there is ever more pressure for me to be perfect than for other girls my age... I'm almost 18 and haven't had a boyfriend yet, and sometimes I think to myself: Why don't boys like me? My outside is just ONE thing. The views on beauty in the western society really get me depressed sometimes, and make it really hard to except yourself.

We can say 'Just stop taking the pills!', but it's easier said than done, especially when you're addicted. It makes me really sad, to read that among your friends it is normal to take Adderall.
My advice would be: talk to your family about it, maybe they can help you. But it seems you're already doing that, so I want to say that you'll get through this! Stay strong honey. We'll be here fo you. You're not alone in your fight, because there is gazillions of other girls out there struggeling with the same issues!

Hey girl!

The only true way to lose weight is to eat right (portion control...no diets. If you want that red velvet cupcake maybe just eat half of one. Never starve yourself of what you enjoy, just control the portions) and exercise. If you live in LA then you have awesome weather year round. ;) So, at least, try going for a walk everyday after school or work. Honestly, you'll feel ten times better. By doing it might be easier to get off of the adderall. Easier said then done, but if you truly are feeling like something needs to be done or changed you can do it. Mind over matter.

@Simple_and_Clean, as well,
It's going to sound completely cheesy but, honestly, everyone is beautiful. Seriously. And the "flaws" that we have or think we have might be the things that other people treasure the most. The right and good people will find you no matter what you look like. They'll see you for who you are and absolutely love you.

Be true to who you are. Try not to let other people's perceptions control you. No one is perfect...no matter how hard one tries. If you need to talk/vent PM me whenever. You might not know me and I might not post a lot but I'll always try to help.

<3
Katy

thank you all - i feel i finally have a support team i can rely on. it's true, what the media has done for girls in this society is made us believe unless we're thin with perfect skin and facial features, we're worthless.

i mean, how often do you see an actress who isn't unrealistically beautiful?

but we have to be strong and realize that ISN'T reality. we're people, not barbie's, and we can't let comparison with other people keep us from being set free.

so what if i gain 5 lbs? so what if i don't like my nose?

as leona lewis would say, "i'm just trying to be happy." and perfection (which doesn't truly exist) doesn't equal happiness.

xx - and thanks again you guys. we'll find our places in this world, we will.

I'm glad we could help :) Stray strong! I try the same.

And just remember, 80% of the girls on tv and movies have:

a) had work done
b) wear 3lbs of makeup
c) both of the above

Barbie ruined American culture. She was a major defining point in instilling a perfect image into children, who are now us 18-25 year olds who strive to attain perfection that can only be manufactured.

You're welcome you can count on us!
Barbie really ruined everything!
Before barbie there was an another concept of women based on being not overweight(because is mainly unhealthy not for other reasons) and being curvy because this defines a woman!STAY strong!I'm sure that you can do it in time:)

^^Yes, 'Heroince-chic' is a dreadfull thing :roll: (Alot of people seem to love her, but I don't think she's that special anyways :P)